Today I am writing from my BlackBerry, so this is going to be short. I will write a regular entry later today. Do you ever get those days when you just wish you had a do over? A day where you can take all of the crap that when horribly wrong over the course of the day and make it right or avoid the cause of the problem. I always get a day like that when the sky is bright blue and everything is perfect outdoors. It never happens on a day you'd think would be appropriate. By the end of the day, all I want to do is curl up and cry. My therapist says I should journal about this kind of thing, which in a sense, I am doing right now. He also says that I shouldn't succumb to the pain. I realize that I have certain triggers though. Those triggers just make me horribly sad. It used to seem that the curtain of that depression was unyielding, but I've learned to push myself and to realize that it will pass.
I know that I get so frustrated that I cry sometimes, but I think that's somewhat normal next to being so depressed that it was too painful to raise my arms over my head. I'm not embarrassed to say that I take medication for my clinical depression and anxiety. I think it's the one ally I have in my corner sometimes. It took me a long time to realize that it was alright to say I had these problems. I think that the stigma attached is what stopped me cold. I didn't have these problems until later in my life and it felt like I had one more illness that gave me less control over my body. Of course, that was a very naïve idea of how to manage these disorders. It took me years and years of trial and error, and I was beginning to feel like a lab rat, but eventually I found a doctor and therapist that worked for me. I still have my days where I feel a little blue, but I pretty much take a deep breath and life goes on as it should.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
I know that I get so frustrated that I cry sometimes, but I think that's somewhat normal next to being so depressed that it was too painful to raise my arms over my head. I'm not embarrassed to say that I take medication for my clinical depression and anxiety. I think it's the one ally I have in my corner sometimes. It took me a long time to realize that it was alright to say I had these problems. I think that the stigma attached is what stopped me cold. I didn't have these problems until later in my life and it felt like I had one more illness that gave me less control over my body. Of course, that was a very naïve idea of how to manage these disorders. It took me years and years of trial and error, and I was beginning to feel like a lab rat, but eventually I found a doctor and therapist that worked for me. I still have my days where I feel a little blue, but I pretty much take a deep breath and life goes on as it should.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
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