Should I Spoil Myself?

I have an everyday religion that works for me.  Love yourself first, and everything else falls into line.  ~Lucille Ball.

I've been thinking this over and I've come to the decision that I have been treating myself very cheaply in the self-care department.  When I talk about self-care, I'm talking in the emotional sense.  I feel as if I'm sinking on a ship and letting everyone else on the lifeboat except me.  This is the most accurate metaphor that I can come up with right now.  In a sense, if you can't take care of yourself emotionally, how can you take care of anyone else?  I'm beginning to think that I have hit that wall.  I really believe that maybe this is my wake-up call or maybe a mild epiphany, so to speak.  The sad thing is that it takes feeling really sick to see that you are pushing yourself too far.  That's when you feel like you're sinking.  I've definitely hit that example right on the head.  I've been told over and over again, that spoiling or indulging yourself once in a while isn't selfish.  I'm beginning to see the merit in that theory.  Maybe I need to just go for a facial or a massage on the spur of the moment or maybe I should have that vanilla ice cream sundae.  You're essentially not only doing this relaxation to help yourself, but to better the way you encounter, socialize, and deal with other people on an emotional level.  

Sometimes, when you put yourself at the top of your list, it's prudent to tell other people no.  If you tell them no, then you can follow along with your agenda without worry.  Removing the habit of putting others before yourself is the toughest part.  The metaphor of the sinking ship and lifeboat comes into play again.  Think that, by getting on that lifeboat first, you are caring about your well-being.  I've tried to remove myself from the situation that triggers me and just breathe.  Nothing will collapse if one chore isn't completed or one person isn't completely happy with you.  Unfortunately, it's very hard to learn that rule.  If you are a sensitive person, it's twice as difficult.  I've been told that I should try meditation.  So today I have decided, while I write this, that I would light a lovely, lavender-scented candle from L'Occitane.  I'm not really proficient in the meditation department.  I'm not sure if I suffer with Attention Deficit Disorder and I was never diagnosed, but it doesn't happen.  I can't be hypnotized either, and I have tried that more than once.  I just have to remember to make this effort to pamper myself, so that way I can deal with the world in a fresh and healthy perspective.  Wish me luck in that department, because I need it.