A Little Rant

I'm learning to take a deep breath these days.  Not because I'm doing yoga or some kind of meditation, but to realize the ball of stress that I'm dealing with.  My patience seems to be wearing very thin lately.  Maybe it's part of the grief, or maybe it's just the imbeciles around me.  It can go either way really.  I'm not a person who can thrive in chaos, even though I have tried more than once.  I'm trying to take a step back and count to five, then deal with my life head on.  I'm thinking that stress management isn't a bad idea.  With everything on my plate right now, I don't really know whether I will even have the time.  Am I being a tad rough on those who are part of my life, maybe, but then they are rough on me with their incompetant lifestyles.  It can drive you to drink honestly!  My husband is really the only one who can get it together lately, aside from my two sisters. 

I'm not saying that I am perfect myself.  No one is perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but I can at least make an effort to do things to the best of ability.  I like to have well thought out plans for the most part.  Really that is the one thing that is expected in my book.  When one thing goes wrong, it seems like people or things have to cause obstacles to kick me while I'm down.  This always seems to happen in this fashion whether I try to prevent it or not.  This kind of crap keeps me from feeling like I have a fighting chance, and it just depresses me.  They say when one door closes, another one opens up for you.  I can't say whether I believe that or not.  I've been looking for that opportunity throughout my thirty-eight years without any success.  This doesn't mean that I am going to stop trying or give up, because that isn't really part of my makeup.  It's kind of like trying for the point of nirvana; it's an endless search that may lead to absolutely nothing.