Anxiety

I have never been one of those people who can give everything in my life away.  I write a great deal of things down for many people to see but, for the most part, that is a mere fraction of my life.  I'm guarded.  Whether or not that is life experience that has taught me that or it's instinct alone, I'm really not sure.  My brain can't really fight that reflex.  I have something that I am willing to give up.  For instance, today I went through this horrific anxiety attack.  The reasons behind that attack can't ever bubble to the surface.  This isn't a case of being selfish, but my nature won't let me.  If I tell you what bothers me, than I have to experience that problem all over again, by exposing myself for everyone to see.  I'm not a criminal and no I'm not crazy; I'm just suffering with feeling that the past is always gaining on me.  Mostly because it's part of my life, for the rest of my life.  I have suffered with panic attacks and anxiety attacks as a result of holding and repressing much of the difficult issues in my life.  I have gone through through traumatic events, which I cannot discuss within this format.  Those events, as well as my current neurological condition, affect my social interactions a great deal.  I fear how I come across to people, because I lose time very often.  I can't ever say when this happens because, when I notice, I am mortified that I missed a segment of conversation or occurring event.

For many people who suffer with anxiety, it can be crippling.  It's almost as if somebody is taking away your freedom by sacking you with insatiable fear.  This fear can occur just with the sensation of a trigger.  Many people who suffer from these issues have a hard time discussing the motives behind them, because they are the stimuli that gives them the greatest harm they've ever known.  Some of it may come from trauma or an unstable form of event that occurred within the past.  I have what they consider Generalized Anxiety Disorder, which is linked to my clinical depression.  Luckily I have found a medication that works for both of these medical conditions, though I still get mild panic attacks from time to time.  For those who have suffered traumatic events, such as those who are victims of crime or those who are soldiers or war veterans, may suffer what American Psychiatric Association calls Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.  This can also lead to panic attacks, depression, and other related conditions.  Many of these patients also lead to conditions of self medication, such as alcoholism or drug addiction.  They used to call this disorder "shell shock" in earlier years.  Panic disorder, anxiety attacks, or even PTSD can exhibit symptoms ranging from nausea and vomiting with a real fear of dying to flashbacks and hallucinations. 

The valuable tool that I have found over the years, when it to working my anxiety, was the use of combining cognitive therapy with the medical treatment.  The hardest part was finding the right therapist and the psychiatrist.  Sometimes there are doctors who feel the need to overmedicate and don't feel that they necessarily need to communicate with your other doctors in order to find the right treatment options.  For instance, I am an epileptic.  I had to find a special psychiatrist to deal with my psychotherapy, a neuropsychiatrist.  This psychiatrist keeps in touch with my neurologist to make sure that they keep records of any changes in dosages when it comes to my medicines so adjustments can be made accordingly.  Now with a therapist, there is another problem.  There are therapists in the world that find it there mission in life to make you feel as bad or even worse than you possibly can.  All they want to do is get you in and out of the room before your time is even up.  These are the "professionals" that you need to avoid.  Look at the reviews for your psychotherapists, because it will benefit you in the long run.  A little bit of research can save you a boatload of bad advice from a professional nightmare.  I will say this and, as the APA says, "treatments of anxiety disorders do not work immediately,"  Things take time, and you may not be able to reveal everything for a very long time.  You may never reveal the cause behind it.   Try to be as resolute with your life as you possibly can, because you only have one right now.  Unless the Buddhists are right, and you have a second try.  I wouldn't experiment with that theory!