Roughing It

Now I have a philosophy in life when it comes to the outdoors. Aside from the beach, I've never really been the outdoor type. I like to know that natural landscapes are able to be protected, but I have no desire to hike them or stroll through them in any capacity. I have a real reason for this, and it's not laziness I assure you. Part of it is the dirt factor, but my main concerns about going out into the wilderness come in the form of the insect variety. I despise bugs with a passion, and this means all bugs. Spiders are considered arachnids rather than insects, but they still fit the bug mold to me. These type of creatures deserve to be either smashed, poisoned, or repelled, because they are pests. I would rather not encounter them in any capacity whatsoever. I'm deathly afraid of them and I uncontrollably scream when I see a bug.

Even though I have this aversion to insects, my husband insists that I should experience the outdoors. He wants to go canoeing or kayaking and while that sounds fun, I'm afraid of water parasites. The last time I went hiking with my husband, I came out of the woods with hundreds of ticks on me and a grave fear of Lyme's Disease. That kind of sealed my fate with insects after that incident. My husband insists that I shouldn't kill spiders as well and tells me they should live as part of a healthy part of the ecosystem. I say they are trespassers and deserve to be squashed. I don't think that they would think twice about biting me at all. Even though I'm scared of insects and alike, I feel sad that I can't enjoy places like Ocean County Park and Allaire State Park to their full capacity. I have never been camping, because I have been too afraid to be outdoors overnight.

I have been thinking this over and over in my head. My husband always lets me plan the vacations and trips every year, and I wanted to let him do the planning. I know that he has been wanting to do the camping thing for so long. Maybe if I get enough Off or Cutter, and I get a big enough bug net, I can actually enjoy sleeping outdoors in a tent. The only thing that grosses me out is the running water thing. Are there actually campsites that have running water that is completely hygienic? Are there alternate means of transporting water to bathe with? These are other questions that plague my mind, and make me nervous about doing anything that requires me to rough it. Does this mean that campers sometimes go for a couple days without intensive bathing? That creeps me out in the deepest sense. This doesn't strike me as much as the insect or wild animal factor would, but it comes close.

How do we truly overcome a fear? I think that answer is by just doing it or immersing yourself into the one thing you are afraid of and realizing that the obstacle was not as tall as you'd originally thought. I do think that these things should be taken slowly, and I'm not going to go through the river in waders to go fly fishing just to prove that I won't die from it. Some of this need to be outdoors also comes from what my doctor told me after a blood test. I have a vitamin D deficiency. This is because I'm a vampire! Ha ha ha! Well when I heard this, I considered that maybe sunshine was something that I really needed, which is why I think that I shouldn't put myself in a corner. This Summer, I've decided to go tubing with my husband in New Hope. I have to try and coordinate schedules, and this is a big step for me. I want to try the whole wilderness/river thing, and see how it goes. Maybe if I enjoy this, a canoe or camping trip isn't far from my future.