It Happens Every Year

I remember thinking to myself, after I ordered my sangria, "I never get carded anymore?" Yeah, I remember how much of a pain in the ass that is but, when you get to a certain point, it feels flattering. I began to dwell on my upcoming birthday, which is something I wish I could avoid entirely. I've begun to hate having the Happy Birthday song chanted at me during any point. Not only do I find it to be a cruel reminder that I am another year older, but it totally embarrasses you. This embarrassment is especially evident if you are in a public place, such as a restaurant. For the last three years, I have given strict rules about lowering the fanfare on this annual date. I've pretty much come to the conclusion that the Happy Birthday Song should be outlawed after the age of thirty. Now I have been told, by a couple of men that I have encountered, that a woman should not divulge their age. I think that's a load of crap. I'm thirty-seven years old right now and I don't really care who knows it.

For some reason I've always expected that I would be doing so much more at this age. I thought that I would not only be married, but I would have children and a bug house. I call it the standard female conditioning that your Mother instills on you from a tender age. You know the conditioning I'm talking about. It's the kind where your Mother buys you Barbie dolls, Easy-Bake Ovens, and princess costumes, then tells you that one day there will be a "Prince Charming" of your own. Once you start getting older, that changes to, "Just wait until you have kids!" I can see how some of those gender stereotypes can cause repression, especially when it comes to the Father/Son dynamic. Boys are always told that they are to play with Matchbox Cars, Tonka Trucks, and toy building sets. The common theme when it comes to both of these stereotypes, is the instilling that you will eventually find a spouse and pretty much be the Barbie/Ken type. When these things don't pan out like your parents thought, and you've set those high and sometimes unhealthy goals, your birthday can make you feel a bit shitty. Maybe if we didn't let our parents set the bar so high, or if we created our own goals, we wouldn't feel so bad when our life plan doesn't work out. We can't always be princesses or ballet dancers!

When we hit a certain age, is it instinct that we have cheat ourselves out of enjoying life? When you hit a certain age, should we just give up? I've asked myself both of those questions over time, and I just enrolled into college. For some reason, that actually eased some of the pain when it came to my age, although most of the people that I am attending with are between the ages of eighteen and twenty-five. I've actually learned from the younger students when it came to handling heavy workloads and having a life. I still scratch my head when it comes to how they can party and then get a B+ on an exam. When you are in your twenties, you love your birthday, because it's a fantastic excuse to party. Now that I'm turning thirty-eight, the thought of how I will feel the next day doesn't sound like something I want to muscle through. When you turn thirty, a sobering wake up call comes and you have this innate feeling that you must "grow up." I'm thinking that it affects men emotionally, more than they are willing to admit. The only difference is that women are more outward with it emotionally and men will buy a luxury item or bring Viagra into the mix. That is definitely a sexist way of defining how genders deal with the uncertainty that comes with their advancing age, but it does carry some weight.

I was reading, in an article on the BBC UK website, that Vietnamese people don't celebrate birthdays on the day that they fall on. Vietnamese culture celebrates birthday on Tet, which is the Vietnamese New Year. I've actually found that to be intriguing and pretty novel. Wouldn't it be great if people celebrated their birthdays all on one day? It would definitely take away the embarrassment factor a bit, because you aren't only one in the room who will be a year older. It would take away the exclusivity of the birthday and you could share in the joy of celebrating birthdays, while planning as if it were Christmas or Hanukkah. If our culture was like that, maybe I would feel better about the upcoming event. For now I am content in just swallowing my pride and realizing that it may only be a number for now. Having a glass of wine and a nice dinner will buffer the blow too.