Today is a day for sorting through the pictures. It's hard to find the perfect photos that fit the best parts of Mom's life. I've seen a few different ones that I couldn't leave out. Like the photo of Mom with my baby sister, who was dressed in her Christening gown for her baptism. It was really adorable. Then I found a picture of me on my mother's knee as a toddler with my grandmom Sadie to her side. Both of these photos made me very choked up. It really helps me remember how happy and caring Mom was as a parent. I was blown away by all of the photos from my Mother's childhood and her teenage years. While I was putting pictures into photo albums to display for the memorial, I started to think how impossible it seems that she's really gone. Everyone seems to talk about her and can realize that they won't ever see her again, but it feels like a nightmare that I can't wake up from. Maybe it's feeling the emptiness gets to me. Honestly I just have a problem rationalizing it. The pictures really highlighted that vacancy in my life, even though they brought back endearing memories. It did give comfort to my sisters and my dad, but I could see how it tore them up during certain moments. Maybe looking at photos of your deceased loved one is the way to push you through the grieving process. I know there are stages to that process, but is that part considered acceptance? I'm not sure if I'll ever make it through that ordeal. You never know how life can change, and maybe my view will too.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
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