Dealing with Negativity

You can get up in the morning and feel really great.  You eat your breakfast, drink your coffee, and get your morning routine on course.  You motivate yourself to take on your day but, before you can start, there is a person who stands in your way.  That one negative person with a black cloud over their head and all they want to do is make you feel awful.  These people are mostly insulting, even though they don't realize it.  There are people who do not fully understand the power of words and what the negative ones can do to a person, even if it's unintentional.  Maybe these people are in their own ring of negativity that they can't seem to shake.  That may be a self-imposed situation or a situation that someone has created for them.  All they do for most of their day is place blame, or criticize, or complain about whatever person or persons lay in their path.  I've always wondered if we had a choice to participate or not participate in that type of unhealthy pattern.  How do you avoid that type of personal run-in?  If you are in a particular group, and you can notice that type of person, you may be able to avoid them.  The best way would be notice the person for what he or she is, and just walk away.  Although this may be frustrating for the offending individual, it is cleansing and emancipating for you.

There are other ways that you can lure that negative person away from you.  If you are within a group of friends who also recognize this certain person as a problem, maybe they can help to shift the negative behaviors away.  Sometimes, when you are in a group dynamic, you can escalate a different direction.  If you are in a group, you can do positive fun activities that can shift the negative aspect of an individual away.  It can also help to change the focus of the negative individual and give a new fresh perspective for them to look on.  This can also happen within the family dynamic as well.  In some instances, certain family members tend to bring negative behavior patterns, which include guilt, blame, resentment, and even unhealthy anger.  Joining with family members for a dinner or a group event can take that type behavior pattern away, but sometimes the problem needs to be addressed by the family in frank, honest group conversation.  Unfortunately, sometimes that is the hardest thing in the world to endure.  My family does very poorly at that activity.  Many families aren't proficient with their communication skills.  Some families who feel that they are communicative and tight, really fall short.  If someone tells me that they come from a perfect home, I will call them a liar.  Nobody has a perfect family.  Families have many different levels of dysfunction, and there are some who are worse than others.    

Of course, there are people who can't even grasp the concept that they are unhealthy in their habits.  Because they can't notice or acknowledge that obstacle, they can't understand why you had to seperate yourself from him or her.  There is no way that you can make some drastic metamorphosis of a person's character, because they have to really know about the problem and want to change those behaviors.  Some people take on these behaviors as a personal choice, therefore there is nothing you can do anyway.  You have to give that type of person room enough to take care of themselves, rather than exposing yourself to toxic problems.  Why give your energies to someone who clearly doesn't deserve it?  You can change the negative topic, if you are having a conversation with said person, but no other course remains.  If you are strong enough to deal with someone with those social ineptitudes, then you can try to have a frank talk with them.  Make it known that these behaviors exist and, once they acknowledge them, they can place an anchor toward change.  But remember, you can't be everyone's lifesaver.  Those who are always putting themselves in those situations, become negative themselves.