Who's Going to Remember You?

I was in health class the other day and something startled me more than anything in a long time.  My professor said to me and the rest of the class," Enjoy yourself now because, in fifty years, no one will remember you."  That really frightened me!  Now some of you that read this may be young enough to blow that off but, now that I am close to forty, I am nervous about this.  This especially grabs me after me after losing my mother this year.  Of course, I was met with the words, "You know your mother is watching over you and is proud that you are a good student."  I thought to myself, "How the fuck do you know?"  Pardon my language!  Still, even though I was perturbed by that statement, I was unnerved by the fact that I might not have a legacy to leave behind.  Should I have done more to prove myself worthy to my peers?  Is being a hard worker enough?  It kind of seems sad that the only people who are valued or remembered are those who have faltered dramatically or have achieved beyond most people's reaches.  Some of this has to do with money, of course, and some has to do with criminal actions.  Why can't we be remembered for writing a wonderful paper on the perils of global warming on contemporary American society?  Is it because we are just the lay individual in a community college?  Certainly!  No credible source wants to hear from someone in a community college anthropology class. 

Every day, I sit in classrooms with students who are half my age and I am glad that I am smart enough to join them.  I enjoy their stories of partying and living their youthful lives and still being able to pass tests with a B average and above.  These types of stories give me encouragement.  If they can do something like that then certainly someone, at my age, can prove myself worthy of a 3.5 or higher.  These grades may not prove me remembered in life, but it will surely make me happy for the short time I enjoy here on earth.  I'll never pretend to be religious, because I'm not.  I believe in scientific fact in the Richard Dawkins perspective.  Many people will surely hate me for that kind of belief, but it doesn't mean that I am a bad person or that I disrespect others for their beliefs.  I simply live by the beat of my own drummer.  There is a reason that I have turned to this type of belief system, and it's not just because of intellectual reasons.  My mother was this spiritualist and she believed that she could "talk to dead people" through mediums and psychics.  This was laced with Christian philosophy and other nonsense for which she pushed on me throughout my whole childhood.  I didn't realize that it was a hoax until I was an adult and I reached the age of reason.  I was hurt so deeply that I thought that I never would recover, but I forgave her for it.  I realize that she truly believed it was all real.  I left her with that, and she died believing that was the way the world worked. 

I don't want to leave you thinking that I hate everyone else's beliefs, because that is simply not true.  Everyone has the right to feel the way they want about life.  You deserve to be free and exercise that.  I think that there is a limit to everything.  There is a rule of thumb in this world called everything in moderation.  It keeps everyone from going overboard on one particular philosophy or medium.  When you become seperatist, or you've taken yourself away from reality, you've gone too far.  That goes for anything, and that includes religion, substance abuse, racism, politics, etc.  Life is a series of bits and pieces that we mean to sample.  Not everything is meant to be taken completely seriously.  If you sample everything, then you have something to write about.  That's what I do anyway.  I may never get any money for it and I will never be remembered for it, but I thoroughly enjoy it.  I worry if this legacy will ever carry on.  How many people will need to share their passwords in their wills?  Now that is completely frightening!  Speaking of that, my father hasn't taken my mother's Facebook down.  Now I have protested over and over about this.  It makes me sad every time I see her name come up, but he won't take it down.  Is this the digital legacy that we'll have?  This is pathetic!  No one will remember us physically, but we'll have a cyber file to last us for how long?  All I know is that I don't have children, but I want to have the most fun that I can before I go.  I'm not sure that I care if people remember me.  If they do, maybe they'll read this nonesense.  Wouldn't that be a kick in the head?!