Can We Trust?

When it comes to trust, there has to be a depth that is required.  Things may turn out differently than you want them to, but sometimes you have to take a chance.  That leap of faith is required in order to author some kind of change in your life.  Our lives will unravel in the pattern that it's meant to if we only give it a guiding hand.  I know that I have a great deal of trust issues, and most of those are created by people.  Many people find that being scorned or having something tragic happen to you can damage the feelings of trust.  But at a point in our lives, we need to release and educate ourselves into letting ourselves feel that emotional trust again.  Much of the trust issue is controlling your life, and it's definitely part of a self-preservation tactic.  If something very tragic occurs or something deceitful occurs, often times we fall into an issue with trust.  Fear of becoming a doormat for someone's manipulation or something of that nature can trigger you to step down from life.  We become withdrawn and it can affect our friendships and familial relationships.  Even romantic relationships can suffer from this type of emotional trauma, especially if the trust issue stems from rape, cheating, etc.  It's those types of malicious events that can scar us or put an indelible mark on our psyche that can be hard to soften or remove.  It makes life feel insurmountable and it dashes many hopes for normal friendships or relationships.  How can you be happy, when you are always looking over your shoulder? 

When we create an environment that shelters us away from the world, we lose a part of ourselves by locking away the most integral benefit of humanity.  That benefit is community!  We need a communal society in order to survive and live in the world.  We need to exert a certain amount of trust in order to move out in the world and grow through our civilization.  Sounds like life on a grand scale, but in a sense it is.  We need that support in order to provide sustainability and ways to coexist.  Trusting is only part of the coin, because we need to be responsible for the things that we create in our lifetime.  This is especially true for the things that we have first hand control over.  We have control over the way that we treat others.  We have control over our actions.  We need to establish trust so that people can feel comfortable with making sturdy life decisions.  Unfortunately life doesn't really work perfectly and the whole "we" aspect doesn't ever happen that way.  One person may do something right and another may do something completely malicious and awful to someone or something in order to prove some kind of ridiculous point or maybe no point at all.  Many people are loners and feel that they can only sojourn through life on their own.  I've felt that way from time to time.  Sometimes I still feel that way, because I don't feel that I can give all of myself away emotionally.  Who can I really trust with the real me?

I often think that our lives are built under this parylyzation of fear.  Fear of being hurt, fear of losing everything, fear of dying, fear of heartbreak, and fear of losing everyone you love.  Because of mistrust, it's hard to shake a distinct sense of uncertainty.  We lock away our dreams and goals, because we are afraid of being stepped upon.  It's ends up being the cycle of cowering to your self-protective instincts.  Why can't we take a leap of faith?  Is there something in our makeup that keeps us from being happy?  Not every person is totally bad, but you can only find that out by trying.  It may be very difficult to give that effort, but maybe the reward will make the whole ordeal worthwhile.  Surrendering and embracing the unknown is something that can scare even the most confident individual, no matter how fearless they paint themselves to be.  I think that the way they look so confident is by convincing themselves undoubtedly that they will win, no matter how the circumstances may turn.  You just have to remember that a good friendship is more likely than a bad one and a bad situation is less likely than a good one!  It's a good mantra that I've been trying these days.  There is nothing wrong with being courageous, especially when it comes with meeting new people.  You are expanding your knowledge of trust and expanding your emotional territory.