Where does my faith go?

Somehow I'm sure that people will think a little less of me for what I've said in this piece, and that's understandable. We've all come with a certain structure in our lives. Everyone has a right to condemn or understand.

I haven't always been able to think in tangible terms when it comes to what I believe in or where I place my faith. It's only been in the last fifteen or so years that I have strayed toward the logical rather than the spiritual side of life. This, of course, is due to many different factors. It's not that I didn't find the comfort factor displeasing or that I didn't feel that there were rewards to looking toward something greater than myself, I just hit a wall. This wall was the factor of logical reasoning. I've never been a creationist, and I've always believed in science. The spiritual nature of myself just seemed to overlay and cloud some other aspects of my life. Then, when I decided that form of spirituality wasn't for me, I tried another form that was older and seemingly more tolerant. Again, I found myself alien to the notion of following the dream of this perfect hereafter. I will say this about working toward perfect enlightenment, it doesn't really seem as harsh as the heaven/hell/purgatory system.

So when I left that behind, after many health maladies and emotional rollercoasters occurred in the interim, I started to think that maybe I could go it alone. I could look to permanent fixtures to sustain me and, rather than worship them, be thankful they exist. I was skittish about this concept at first, mostly for the ramifications that could occur among friends and family. I want to say, first and foremost, that I applaud those who have the dedication and freedom to believe in something so strongly that it holds them through the troubled times and gives them a reason to carry on. I can understand why you worship and give thanks for those types of blessings. That is the true definition of monotheism or polytheism. I think that part of my soul has fallen away from me, or at least if my soul is really called a soul.

I believe in giving to my fellow human, loving with the emotions that I have been provided with, treating others the way they would treat me, and trying to be the best human that I can. I have frailties and I can accept that, and that's the true meaning of DNA. I was created in someone's image, the image map of someone's chromosomes. It's kind of interesting and awe inspiring when you think of the complexity of it all. To me, that's as God-like as it gets. To think that we have all of this intricate design in one human package is astounding. Certainly that is something to believe and behold!